The Black Russian Accidentally Inspires a People's Utopia: House of the Beast 3

BLACKBEARD THE SLAV, a.k.a. THE BLACK RUSSIAN, steps between the battling CRAB and STINGING LOBSTER.



With a twirl of his sword, he deftly cleaves the fowl leg – the source of their hostilities – in twain.


The two crustacean warriors gaze for a moment at the perfectly divided resource.



 

"I see!" gasps the STINGING LOBSTER, "All things held equally!"


 

The CRAB seizes his half of the fowl leg and scuttles off, grumbling something about forced redistribution of wealth.



 

The STINGING LOBSTER, on the other hand…

 

"You have taught me a grand lesson, Ninjirate, one that my people will not soon forget! For you see…"

"…I am no ordinary stinging lobster."



 

"It is I, Scrabbles Stingsworth XIV, the Lobster Lord."

"You have done us all a great service, Ninjirate. From this day forth, my people shall hold all things in common!"



"In recognition of your great contributions to Lobster-kind, I grant you the title Friend of the People! If you ever find yourself in situations deadly and dire, call upon your friend Scrabbles and I shall aid you wherever you are!*

Usable once per customer at participating locations."

"And now, I must off – I have a merchant class to dismantle."



 

And with that, Scrabbles Stingsworth scuttles off into the sunset.

As THE BLACK RUSSIAN'S gaze follows the retreating crustacean, his keen Ninjirate eye catches a strange glint from the top of the tower beside him.


His innate piratical senses cannot be mistaken:



 

There's something shiny up there.


THE BLACK RUSSIAN'S musings are cut short by a sudden cacophony! A cavalcade of noises ring out from the other side of the monsters KEEP – wounded cries, death blows, thunderous roaring.

THE BLACK RUSSIAN quickly takes stock of his surroundings.



 

To the left of the cliff he stands on, he catches a sight – CRUSADERS. 


Deadly CROSSBOWMEN and pages carrying extra LANCES for KNIGHTS. The CRUSADER CAVALRY must have just passed, and this be their train of retainers. There are shouts from out of view, and the CROSSBOWMEN start looking for high ground. They seem focused on the other side of the KEEP – so far, THE BLACK RUSSIAN and his men are unseen.

There is a thunderous roar, and the smell of gun smoke fills the air!

To the right of the KEEP a large group of filthy-looking men scatters in disarray.



 

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of THE BLACK RUSSIAN'S neck stand on end. Pirate senses tingling, he casts his gaze to the far right – a group of MYSTERIOUS STRANGERS is climbing over the ancient BURIAL MOUND.


They are too far away to see clearly, but… There is something strangely familiar… Could they be Ninjirates?


 

BLACKBEARD THE SLAV'S blood runs cold in his veins.

A new sound fills the air – more baleful than a thousand cannons.

"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!"


The ground trembles, and from around the corner of the KEEP –



 

THE BEAST BELOW DECKS.



Thar be no mistake – this be the very beast that every honest Ninjirate feared more than death… The thing that took up residence in the Flagship's hold after the Ninja Pirate Consortium made its unholy pact… The thing that devoured all who dared question the new alliance… or the new master…

The thing that made slaves of corpses…

THE STEVE.


What will THE BLACK RUSSIAN do?



 

1. Nothing takes precedence over acquiring the shinies: Call your men up to the cliff top and then CLIMB THE TOWER and snag whatever's GLINTING at the top!

2. A lashing in time saves nine: Charge the CRUSADER INFANTRY and take out those CROSSBOWMEN before they can get settled in sniping positions!

3. Any port in a storm: rally your men and head SOUTH towards the BURIAL MOUND to get a better view of the MYSTERIOUS STRANGERS.

4. From hell's heart I stab at thee: rally the boys and SUICIDE CHARGE straight into THE STEVE! To hell with caution and the rest!

5. Batten down the hatches: call the boys up, take DEFENSIVE POSITIONS atop the CLIFF, and WAIT to see what develops.

Or make up your own crazy thing…


6. OTHER:______________________



 

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