Pantaloonia!

Confronted by the sudden appearance of KLEOPANTSRA the QUEEN OF SERPENTS, LORD CITRUS SELTZER forms a cunning plan! Taking his troops SOUTH, he skirts around the southern edge of the JUNGLE towards the PAGAN SHRINE, where he hopes to simultaneously rendezvous with the BLUE BASHERS and flank KLEOPANTSRA'S formation. Meanwhile, his trusty Squire, THE VILLAGE POOPSMITH, races towards the still-twitching SEVERED TENTACLE, skewers it on the end of the Battle Flag of West Luau, and (with expert aim honed by years of poopsmithing) – HURLS IT STRAIGHT INTO KLEOPANTSRA'S PALANQUIN! Kleopantsra's PARASOL MAIDEN hurls herself in the path of the cephalopodian projectile! The TENTACLE and the PARASOL wielding bodyguard wrestle atop the PALANQUIN, neither combatant managing to overthrow the other. Below, KLEOPANTSRA'S FORCES fall into confusion and disarray – her soldiers cannot reach the top of the embattled PALANQUIN! (Meanwhile, a SCREAMING MAN falls out of the sky, bounces with g...

BLACKBEARD THE SLAV, a.k.a. THE BLACK RUSSIAN, steps between the battling CRAB and STINGING LOBSTER. With a twirl of his sword, he deftly cleaves the fowl leg – the source of their hostilities – in twain. The two crustacean warriors gaze for a moment at the perfectly divided resource.   "I see!" gasps the STINGING LOBSTER, "All things held equally!"   The CRAB seizes his half of the fowl leg and scuttles off, grumbling something about forced redistribution of wealth.   The STINGING LOBSTER, on the other hand…   "You have taught me a grand lesson, Ninjirate, one that my people will not soon forget! For you see…" "…I am no ordinary stinging lobster."   "It is I, Scrabbles Stingsworth XIV, the Lobster Lord." "You have done us all a great service, Ninjirate. From this day forth, my people shall hold all things in common!" "In recognition of your great contributions to Lobster-kind, I grant you the title Friend of the People...

LORD JARRITOS DE TAMARINDO slaps his cannon down at the top of the pyramid. The CANNIBAL LEADERS charge at the head of their unruly horde... TARGET ACQUIRED.   FAZOOOOM! The heavy piercing shot tears into the CANNIBAL LEADERSHIP!   A poorly placed CANNIBAL GRUNT is fatally hoisted! The shot continues – GRISTLE-SNORTER, the cannibals' second-in-command, is launched skyward!   With an incredibly lucky roll, THE GRAND MAN EATER manages to dodge a lethal blow, but the force of the explosion hurls him backwards – outside of the CANNIBAL FORMATION.   The shot continues its deadly path until it strikes – AGAINST ALL ODDS a low ranking CANNIBAL HOOLIGAN CATCHES THE CANNONBALL OUT OF THE AIR! (His beard must be obscuring hidden depths of talent.)   The damage is done – the sudden appearance of heavy artillery (and the sudden skyward disappearance of key personnel) sends a jolt of PANIC running through the CANNIBAL FORMATION.   (Time for some MORALE rolls.) Many of ...